• What we do
• What we think
• What we feel

Did you ever notice that doing and thinking are always expressed as verbs, like “exercising” or “considering”, but that feelings are typically expressed as adjectives, like “frustrated’ or nouns, like “depression”.

Most of us believe that we choose our actions.  Some believe that we choose our thoughts.  Surprisingly few people believe that we choose our feelings.

A couple questions to consider:

1. Do feelings happen to us, or do we choose them?

2. Can using better words (in our self-talk) positively affect our behavior (and ultimately our level of success and happiness)?

A feeling is a response to a stimulus.  If we are responsible (response-able) human beings, one can argue that we should each be able to always choose our responses.  For most people, managing their feelings is tougher than it sounds.

In fact, choosing our feelings is tougher than choosing our actions, but we can control them if we know how.   How we act directly affects how we think, which directly affects how we feel.  So if we want feel better, start by acting in way that makes us feel better.     

Additionally, we can dramatically affect how we act, think and feel by using empowering conversation with ourselves.  We all talk to ourselves all day long (both consciously and sub-consciously).  So why not make our conversation a positive one?

If you are unusually busy, are you “overwhelmed” or “in-demand”?

The next time something or someone “makes you angry”, would your behavior improve if you told yourself you were “angering”?   

Would you act or feel differently if you were “frustrating” over a situation rather than being “frustrated” by a situation?

In each the examples above, the former conversation is that of a slave (someone who is response-unable).  The latter self-talk is one of someone in control of his/her thoughts and feelings.

The conversation that you have with yourself is the most important conversation that you will have today (and every other day).  Begin to pay attention to your self-talk.  Replace all the slave-talk with power-talk and pay attention to the effect this new conversation has on your behavior.

Copyright ©   Joe Zente  2010.   All Rights Reserved.

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The HIRE Act - A Tax Credit for Employers

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BE A LISTENER:  Sounds obvious, doesn’t it?  Most people know active listening is important.  So ask yourself.  “Am I the type of person that listens, or am I the type that waits to talk?”

How should you listen?   Pay attention not only to words, but also to tonality and body language.  Raise your antennae for special gifts, traits or talents.  Then point them out.  Most people listen for what they need from the other person.  Shift your listening for what’s truly unique or special about the person with whom you are speaking.  Then point it out.  Try it for a day.  Then a week.  What would result if you adopted this way of listening for the rest of your life?

Do you listen for emotions?  How would you rate your level of empathy and sincerity?  Facts, data and information are valuable, but people, relationships, and emotions are profound.  Next time you’re listening to your child, friend, prospect or customer, feel what they are feeling and respond with empathy versus intellect.  

BE EMPOWERING:   Unique gifts and problems occur differently to everyone, so show others how to make better use of what they already possess.  It all lives in perception.  Your perspective can help others create a wonderful experience that they previously didn’t know existed.  Most people are so mired in the future or past, that they miss out on the opportunities staring straight at them in the present.  Be their eyes and ears and help them see the value of what’s already all around them.  

Provide people with ideas that can be easily retained and transmitted.  Learn to communicate information, truths and concepts in bite-sized packages.  Make these packages easy to understand and share.  In short, try to be concise and provide simple, worthwhile, interesting things to say.

BE HUMAN:   None of us behaves perfectly, so be vulnerable and acknowledge your weaknesses.  It is such an adult thing to do.  Being fully accepting of your whole person, including the faults is liberating for you and others.  Showing humility permits others to also feel comfortable in being not-perfect.   Use your human qualities of caring and nurturing so you can really get down to the business of truly helping others.

BE INQUISITIVE:   Create new worlds in people’s thinking, feeling and priorities.  Don’t be afraid to challenge a strongly-held belief or assumption or create a new paradigm or distinction.  Spread your tough-love generously, but always offer a soft (and strong) place to land. 

BE PERCEPTIVE:  And notice the good stuff.  Acknowledgement of accomplishment is fine, but praising people for who they are instead what they did is profound.

Focus on the person behind the accomplishment or problem.  Helping a person get more in touch with who they are and what they really care about will always help them produce better results in everything they do.

BE SHARING:   Offer people meaningful and interesting concepts, projects and tools.  If the popularity of Reality TV is any indication, most people must be pretty bored.  If you happen to be up to something worthwhile and are willing to let people share in your project, many people will gain meaning from joining you.  Not only from playing, learning and participating, but also by the game itself and the interesting people they’ll meet along the way.  So if you’re working on a cool project, share it and affect a bunch of other people.

BE REAL:   Don’t try to profoundly affect others.  For some reason, this is harder than it sounds for many people.  Sincere Interest and Infinite Curiosity rule the day.  The objective here is not to try to affect others.  Acting sincere or pretending to be interested are oxymoronic.  They will get you nowhere — fast.   However, what you can do is be trustworthy and caring for others and share the stuff above with those who want to receive it.  

If you do, you WILL have a profound effect on others and on yourself.  I know—all this sounds like a pile of new communication skills to learn.  If you go for it, there will be some adjusting.  But, this shouldn’t feel like work.  It is fun and rewarding to EVERYONE involved.  It takes no extra time or preparation.  All it really takes is a simple commitment to begin to make a bigger difference in people’s lives.

Copyright ©   Joe Zente  2010.   All Rights Reserved.

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Christophe S. Borg, CEO
BorgSolutions, Inc.

Christophe Borg is co-founder, CEO and Chairman of BorgSolutions, Inc. Chris is a 15 year veteran of the IT industry where he has worked as director of IT since 1994 in various companies including PCOrder, Inc., Trilogy, and MessageOnce, Inc. (later acquired by Dell).  In 2003, Chris co-founded BorgSolutions to fill the fleet industry’s need for an integrated fleet management and telematics solution. 

BorgSolutions’ primary focus is on business process automation, in specific to the automation of fleet administrative management with regards to maintenance and management.  With customers in the United States, Puerto Rico, Latin America, Europe and the Middle East, BorgSolutions has proven that a global minded multi-lingual platform can be successful in streamlining fleets irrelevant of its location.

BorgSolutions is the leading provider of fleet management solutions that effectively reduce operating, labor and other costs for construction, oil & gas, fleet rental and transportation companies.  Its flagship platform, BorgFleet, empowers customers to easily manage all aspects of their fleet’s operations, and utilizes real-time data analytics for predictive maintenance and repair scheduling, parts, inventory and fuel management, and various otherwise time-intensive, costly tasks. BorgSolutions has been recognized in multiple articles including:

• Canadian Auto World, "BorgSolutions has the Recipe for Increased Fleet Sales"
• FleetMag, "BorgSolutions Introduces Fleet Maintenance Software for Service Providers"
• Heavy Equipment Guide, " Maintenance Management Software for Canadian Fleets"

“Throughout my career, I have worked in the high tech industry from software developer, to CIO, and now CEO at BorgSolutions. Those experiences have given me a deep understanding of what it takes for a product to be successful, from an engineering standpoint and from a business standpoint. Defining and managing those requirements for businesses to grow, is what I enjoy and where I excel. At BorgSolutions we are proud of having grown the business organically without using VCs, and of our strong customer base.  

Joining TAB has allowed me to meet many successful business owners and share with them questions and issues that only business owners understand. We collectively solve difficult problems. TAB has also brought a bit of sanity to my work."

                                                                                                                                              -Christophe S. Borg

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Quick Tip Video from Richards Rodriguez & Skeith LLP

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